Daily Devotions

Have you ever made the statement that things would be easier if everyone just thought alike? The usual reply is something like “but it would be a boring world if we were all the same.” Let’s face it, groupthink doesn’t work out very well. God shows us in his word that there is actually a deeper purpose in being different from one another.

Life as a caregiver is like riding a rollercoaster. Our medical team warned us of this early and often. One of the things I realized after awhile is that when the ride is smooth you are often recovering from the bumpy parts. Then the smooth gives way to the next dip and the cycle continues.

I love to garden. It is one of the joys of my life to go muck around in the dirt and see God’s beautiful creation up close. It also makes certain parts of the Bible come alive for me. Agricultural symbolism is heavy in scripture. While it made sense to a lot of the audience of the time, many people today don’t understand the deeper meaning.

Since the time of the original sin, people have lived in a broken world. We hear about it every day. Crime, wars, disease—all byproducts of this gap that was created between us and God. Since this is the case, we all understand the natural life cycle. Birth through death, we all have similar milestones that link us together. So the question is, why are we unable to talk about it?

When I think of caregiving, my mind first pictures people that provide full-time, in-home care. But there are many caregivers that do not fit into this category. What ways are they able to share what they have?

It wasn’t long into my caregiving journey when I learned grief is common. We can grieve loss of things, change of situations, and of course, loss of people. Every and any day could be met with something life-altering that caused me to cry out to Jesus in heartache.

Family caregiving often brings us to a place where we wonder if we can go on another day. Fear whispers “What if I can’t keep doing this?” and in our weakness it is easy to give in to the worries and exhaustion. How we go forward in these moments is important.

When it comes to family caregiving, we were very blessed. We lived very close to the hospital, had family ready and willing to help care for my healthy kids, and we never went without our basic needs being met. Despite these benefits there was still conflict.

There are times as a family caregiver that we feel stuck. We don’t know which way is forward, we feel cornered by impossible situations, and we wonder when the pressure will be alleviated. Then fear makes us wonder if God is still working in our lives.

Caregiving can be an isolating experience. Moments of doubt creep in when we have no one around to encourage us to stay rooted in the Word of God or to pray. Add in a dash of frustration, a pinch of exhaustion, and it is a recipe to wonder if we are beyond the compassionate care of God.

Caregiving brings out the best in us. It can also bring out the worst, if we are being honest. Fatigue, frustration, guilt and impatience can start to take over for compassion, love, and kindness. You may even find yourself thinking, “I shouldn’t behave this way…I should be stronger…I should be more patient.”

I’ve been putting a lot of thought into what makes a successful caregiving household. It is easy to make a list of attributes that help things run smoothly: caregivers that are well trained; a house that can accommodate medical needs; financial stability. These things all help of course, but they are not the key component. The true linchpin to a successful household—especially one shaped by caregiving—is whether or not the household is centered on Christ.

Family caregiving is the sort of activity that will leave you feeling drained physically, tired emotionally, and even spiritually empty. You give so much of yourself by pouring out love and care on your loved one that you may forget to seek renewal for yourself. God offers strength that doesn’t run out.

As caregivers, we often have lists full of plans for the future. Plans for if a surgery goes ahead. Plans for if we are not able to pay a bill. Plans for meals to prepare for the holidays. We try to account for all contingencies ahead of time and when things go off our well-designed, color coded, carbon copied plans, we feel our control slipping away.

I commonly hear my husband get frustrated with two types of people in his workplace. First, the ones that are prideful and won’t admit they don’t know everything. Second, ignorant people that don’t realize they have only skimmed the surface of a topic. In either scenario there is an unwillingness to learn new things and it tends to hinder their work. Hearing him talk about this made me realize that there is an application in caregiving.

Writing these devotionals has brought up a lot of memories, both good and bad, from my time as a caregiver for my youngest child. We knew before she was born that she was going to require multiple heart surgeries in order to survive. Comforting her in the hospital became routine under the circumstances. But that comfort took a different shape as she got older.

My two teenagers are just a few years from being legal adults and moving out on their own. It has made me start thinking through all the things I want them to know before that happens. Can they do their own laundry? Are they able to cook for themselves? Will they be able to budget their money?

Recently I was called for jury duty. It was an interesting experience hearing from the judge and lawyers as our group of potential jurors were questioned about our backgrounds, including whether or not we knew the witnesses to the crime.

From the time I received my daughter’s diagnosis in 2016, I knew God had something special for her life, no matter how long it was. As it turned out, we had just two years with her. Her sunny smile and joy touched many lives.

There was a long stretch of my caregiving when my daughter needed to stay at home. My mom did our grocery shopping. My husband took the older kids to church. And I stayed home with Leah. She was in a place where she couldn’t get sick without very negative consequences.

I have a journal amongst my daughter’s belongings. Actually, I have several journals for her that are filled with daily stats such as oxygen saturations, fluid intake, etc., but the one I’m writing about has a special purpose. This one, with its scratched blue cover that makes it look ready for the trashcan, holds the most precious information of all. Inside are the dates when I could see God providing for our family in our darkest moments.

I believe we miss the implications of salt’s value in a world where everyone has at least three varieties of salt in their kitchen cabinet. Do you understand the important role salt played in the time of Christ? First of all, it is a flavoring. We all know how bland food is without a little dash of the white stuff in there. Secondly, salt was used for preservation of food before refrigeration. You can imagine how valuable that was in a desert climate.

Caregiving often places us in quiet distress. It is not dramatic or even visible, but it is persistent and it is heavy. Days blur together and we find ourselves weary beyond words.

Do you remember when you were learning to write a term paper in school? You learned that the intro told you what the subject was, the body of the paper defended that position, and the closing paragraph summed everything up. It should be pointed out that ancient writings don’t always fit this newer format, but in the case of today’s scripture, Paul has summed up his letter for the readers at the end. How handy!

To whom do you go in times of trouble? Most people would say they call a trusted friend or family member. Maybe a spouse or pastor comes to mind. Hopefully you know that you can take your burden to the Lord, who waits for you to lean on him for strength and protection.

The widow’s offering illustrates to us the generous nature we should have as believers. Giving to the Lord cost the widow something. While the rich gave money out of their abundance the woman gave just two small coins. That small amount was of greater importance because of her poverty and need.

In the darkest, most taxing moments of caregiving, you may feel hope dwindling. Your mind is full of your daily tasks and frustrations. In your exhaustion you may forget all that God has done for you.

While caregiving we often get distracted by the myriad tasks that are set upon us. I remember mornings when I went through our med schedule on auto pilot because I hadn’t slept well. It’s a miracle I didn’t give the wrong dose. The whole day would be a fog. At the end of day I couldn’t tell you what I had done, but I knew I had been busy.

I am at a point in my walk with the Lord that I am realizing just how big He is. Putting God into a box wasn’t intentional, but I was at fault for it just the same. When I didn’t feel like He was working in my life, when I was overwhelmed by worldliness in my community, or when I didn’t feel like lives were being changed even within the church, I made the box smaller. And I let it get smaller, and smaller, and smaller.